Lucky

I was talking to my higher self, my angels, wondering—“Why do they love me so much? I don’t understand. What have I done, or am doing, or will do for them that they love me so much? Why do they invest so much energy guiding me and loving me?”

Because this love is unfathomable—deep and real.

It occurred to me that this love is simply the natural state of being. There’s nothing I’ve done to receive it; they just love me because they are me—because love is the natural state of existence. Only in our fear do we make love conditional, believing one must provide some sort of specialness or utility to be loved.

My higher self doesn’t love me because I am special or not, or because of anything I’ve done, earned, or can provide her. Love just is. It’s the natural state of existence.

In the same way, I am starting to realize that stepping into the unknown—the great mystery, becoming more of my higher self—is just the natural way of being. Mystery is not a scary, dark well I must jump into. It’s not about doing anything. There’s nothing I have to do to be myself. There’s nothing one has to do to enter the mystery—just stop choosing the murky waters of the familiar. Mystery is our natural state. My higher self is just me when I am being more me.

Surrender means stopping the habit of saying yes to things you don’t prefer just because you are scared. Stop saying yes to fear. Stop clinging to safety you no longer need—while thanking your beautiful body, made of the blood and biology of ancestors who once did. Thank them.

I have a working definition of mystery: that it’s scary and hard. But really, the hardest thing one could ever do is spend their life pretending to be someone else.

I don’t need the fear. I am not in control. I never was.

I just have to say yes to the things that are me—because that is the natural state of being. And that is the easiest thing I can think to do, simply because it already is.

Of course, it’s a paradox—because it’s also not. Being yourself is easy, but unlearning who you aren’t takes bravery.

It’s all just what I believe it is.