My mom is worried I might be suicidal

Mom-
Do you know
how many bridges
I’ve crossed this week?

How alive I still am?

I made it across
every bridge
I have ever crossed.

Alive.

I could turn 
my steering 
wheel sharply and 
be in the water
end it
all 
all
of this,
this constant 
trying
and 
trying
and
I always 
don’t.